


Breathtaking Mangrit

by DoctorV



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Forevver Alone, Gen, One Shot, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-14
Updated: 2011-06-14
Packaged: 2017-10-20 09:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/211533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan gets shot down by Jade and John has a talk with him. "No means no, dude." (Written for a kinkmeme prompt.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathtaking Mangrit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anonymous).



**Eridan: Be rejected.**

"Bluh, not interested," the Jade human says.

"Wwhat about a different quadrant?"

 **Eridan: Be rejected...again.**

"No!" With an angry huff and a glare, she whirls around and stalks off, long hair swinging enticingly.

Whatever, she'll come around eventually. Probably. Someone has to.

"Hi!"

What? Oh, the stupid godtier human Kar's obsessed with. Fuckin' pathetic how hard Kar's pursuin' him. Can't even make up his mind if he wants a blackrom or red.

"Wwhat do you wwant?" you ask him boredly.

He grins stupidly. "Just to talk. We've never really talked, have we?"

You haven't, now that you think of it. Not that you really _care_. Kar and Vris have been hogging most of his time that's not spent with the other humans.

"You know Jade's my sister, right?" he continues cheerfully.

You think you've heard the word before, but damned if you can remember what the fuck it means. Probably some stupid human word, like "homosexual." Maybe it's one of their quadrants. You fill your voice with disdain when you ask, "Wwhat's a sister?"

"Oh right, you probably don't have those," he says, looking thoughtful. At least, as thoughtful as a stupid-looking human _can_ look. "Because of your Mother Grub. Hm, okay. Um...I guess you could maybe think of it like a moirail, but also connected by blood. Blood's pretty important to you guys, right?"

You were right, it's some shitty human quadrant. And who's been fuckin' telling him about the Mother Grub? "Of course it's important. I--"

There's a sudden clanging crunch sound and your eyes widen as you realize a large hammer is now embedded in the wall next to your head.

 **Eridan: Flip the fuck out.**

You're pretty sure someone else in this conversation already has! Holy shit that thing is _really_ fucking close to your head. He just _barely_ missed hitting you.

"Wwha-wwha--Wwhat the fuck?!"

The John human is still smiling, hand on the hammer's handle while his stupid flat teeth hang over his bottom lip. He's smiling, but there's something hard in his weird white and blue alien eyes. "I think you should leave Jade alone. No means no, dude."

 **Eridan: Flip the fuck out?**

Actually yeah, there's enough room in this conversation for two flip-outs.

"How'd you evven fuckin' _do_ that?!"

This is a valid question. The walls in the Veil are thick metal. If you had tried hitting one with a hammer, it would have just hit it, not dented it enough to be _embedded_ in the wall. The point is, the walls are a lot tougher than your head. You feel a little short of breath.

"I have all of the mangrit," he replies. "Aaaaaaaall of it."

Oh fuck him and his grit, you've spent enough time around Vris that you can hear the eight "A"s in that drawl. You...actually, you seem to be having trouble drawing enough air into your lungs.

The human leans in, _still_ fuckin' smiling, and says, "I'd _appreciate_ it if you left Jade alone. My hammers would, too." That hard thing in his eyes is also in his voice.

 **Eridan: Be intimidated.**

Breath coming in thin gasps, you manage to choke out, "F-Fuckin'--Wwhatevver! Fine!" Your voice absolutely does _not_ shake, it's just that you're having a little trouble getting enough air to keep the fuzzy darkness out of the edges of your vision. You are a seadweller and royalty and you have some coddamned pride.

An easy jerk of his arm and the hammer is out of the wall and sitting over his shoulder. It looks heavy, but it barely seems to weigh him down. Your knees are trying to give up on you in protest of how much air you're not giving them and you lean back heavily against the wall, barely avoiding the large dent.

The human's other hand, the one not holding the hammer, is in a fist and you watch him raise it to shoulder level and slowly open it. All of a sudden, you feel the air rush back into your lungs. You gasp it in and choke a little, coughing as it briefly overwhelms you.

"I'm glad we finally had a chance to talk!" he says, still as stupidly cheerful as ever. "I hope we don't have to again soon!"

Then he turns and walks off, whistling -- _whistling_ \-- a cheery tune.

 **Eridan: Sit down.**

You have already slid down the wall to sit on the floor, watching the human disappear from sight as he turns a corner. A tiny, hopeful part of you wonders if he might be in the market for a kismesis, but you know from listening to Kar's bitching that he's not. Besides, the rest of you is pretty glad he's gone.

You stare at the dent in the wall above you and decide to leave the Jade human alone. No means no, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt was: _I see plenty of fic where people like Dave, Rose, Jade, Vriska, even Karkat, occasionally, getting protective of John and sticking up for him._
> 
>  _Now I really want to see this reversed. like maybe John sees somebody messing with Karkat, or Eridan's creeping on Jade too much, or Bro's giving Dave a BIT too much of a hard time and all of a sudden he's just like HA HA HA HA do that to them again and ill murder you in your sleep :)_
> 
>  _bonus if it fucking WORKS._
> 
> I love when cliches get twisted turnways. :D


End file.
